Apr 29 2017 What really happens when a wife finds out her husband pays for sex (or why Samantha X is a dumpster fire)Category: General     01:58PM   0

 

Samantha X has published her latest quarterly erotica-cum-marketing waffle to continue to try to pique interest in her upcoming book release.  I’m almost embarrassed for her at the quality of this one.  From the second sentence it was clear, to any escort worth her salt, that the entire exchange between Samantha and a supposed client’s wife, never happened. But more on that later.

Unfortunately, for Samantha X, the industry can see right through her.  She thought she could moonlight at a mainstream brothel for six months, get a gist of the sex industry, and then pretend to “come out” as a long term escort.  She figured she would parlay that into launching her own agency, book deals, mentoring, you name it; she’ll try offering it. 

 

If you use us, don't abuse us

Now, on the face of it, I am all for this.  Women need to do whatever we need to do to support ourselves and get by.  What I won’t accept, from the likes of Samantha X, is the pure selfishness and obvious disregard for the broader industry.  Not every worker is going to be an activist or advocate for the industry, and nor should they be.  The sex industry draws all types of personalities – some wish to simply do their work and go home at the end of the day, others like to agitate for change, and still others engage with the industry in a variety of iterations. 

However, if a worker is going to position themselves as some kind of guru or expert regarding the industry, then they sure as hell better ensure that every single thing they publish, say or do works to fight the stigma and shame that society would so dearly love to place on sex work.  If you are going to claim to be a mentor to newbies, or use your privilege to dilute an already saturated market, then you have an obligation to, both, not throw other workers under the bus and to use your platform to educate society about the reality of the industry.  If you choose to leverage off the industry (and by extension, other workers) to launch your new ventures then you damn well better repay what you take from us by being careful and considered with the rhetoric you’re putting out there.

 

If you do abuse us, prepare to hear us

Samantha X does neither.  She makes no effort to educate the masses about the realities facing sex workers, or what reforms we are seeking in order to secure safety and security for our industry.  Plus, she consistently puts out information, like this and this, that, quite incredibly, manages to have zero substance while also reinforcing harmful rhetoric around the industry. 

But sex workers are a brave, resilient bunch and when you wrong us the backlash from the industry is swift.  We most certainly don’t take kindly to a virtual outsider perpetuating ridiculous stereotypes about the industry.  So when Samantha X shared her scintillating take, “escorts don’t wear pink nail polish”, sex worker Twitter was scathing in its response.  Using the hashtag #nailsofsexwork, workers from everywhere posted pictures of their nails to show that escorts fit no one aesthetic and nor should we.  There was even a Twitter account spawned, @NailsOfSexWork, where workers continue to share pictures of our delightful, varied and individual manicures.

 

Try to be, at least a little bit, believable

Now, back to her latest schtick trying to sell her own magnanimity as some kind of  “I feel so bad I’m causing another woman pain” faux-concern.  I can guarantee you that not one word of what she wrote ever happened. 

When wives or girlfriends do contact workers, they are never as calm as Stephanie.  How do I know?  Because I’ve had wives / girlfriends contact me.  You can read the exchange below.  Do not come at me for the shortcomings of your partner.  Ever.

 

For some reason, these women mistakenly assume we want to spirit their partners away from them.  They seem to overlook the glaring fact that we are professionals, this is our livelihood, their partners are our clients, and at the cessation of the booking those clients become warm, but distant memories.  Any issue a wife or girlfriend has with the behaviour of her partner she needs to take up with HIM.  And him alone.

Samantha X trying to paint herself as some kind of martyr, applying salve to a wife’s pain, is offensive both to workers and wives alike.  It’s offensive to workers because it fails to address that we are not to be held at fault for the failings of men.  And it is offensive to wives because it excuses the internalised misogyny they direct at sex workers, again, in an attempt to reason away the failings of men.

 

Be an advocate, or be quiet

What Samantha X doesn’t realise is, that with every puff piece she puts out attempting to mollify and pander to the existing stereotypes society has of our industry, she is actively causing harm to sex workers and the sex industry alike.  The industry doesn't respect her and clients are only ever interested for the novelty value.  So she keeps churning out these atrocious media releases to try to stay relevant, but all she ever achieves is further reinforcing society's dire view of sex work.

As I mentioned, not all workers want to be advocates for the industry.  And nor should they.  But I can assure you, even though they may not wish, or be able to, openly advocate *for* the industry, those workers sure as hell aren’t actively working against the industry. 

So many sex workers are tireless advocates for our industry.  Sharing their own (unpaid) time and effort to dismantle the stigma of sex work, and agitate for law reform to adopt the decriminalisation model, for the benefit of the entire industry.  All Samantha X does is condescend to other workers with her “etiquette lessons” and perpetuate harmful rhetoric with her, obviously fake, stories. 

Samantha X seems to like unsolicited advice, so here’s mine to her:  If you’re not going to help us, at least don’t harm us.


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